Doubt

...I've had a lot of it lately.

And yes, I recently saw the movie Doubt. This quote from the movie stung me to the core: "Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty." Read that a couple times to really get what it means. I do not wish for my doubt to be that powerful. So, I have gone straight to the word of the Lord to really learn what my doubt is about. It all stems from my lack of trust. At times I have trouble trusting in the Lord. Ok, a lot of the time. This affects every aspect of my life. I do not trust people all that much. Sometimes that is a good thing, but there are several times that I wish it wasn't so hard for me. As I look back on my life I know there are outcomes that could be different if only I'd had trust in people, but most importantly in God. I stive to put my trust in God more and more everyday - to grow closer to Him as well as the people around me.
Tonight I am thankful for the following words from my bible.

James 1:2-8 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

Matthew 21:21 "Jesus replied, 'I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree (see 21:18-20), but also you can say to this mountain 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.' "

I cling to this when my mind wanders into the depths of my doubt: Psalm 42:5 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

I do not doubt God per se, I just have trouble accepting that I have no control. I feel this is normal. Right?