Childlike Faith

I just drove home from being at my parents house in San Antonio for Christmas and New Years. It was a good, relaxing time. As I drove back I was thinking about the love Jesus has for me and how I will never fully comprehend it. Because as a human, the concept of unconditional, no boundaries, forgiving love is hard to accept and to wrap my mind around. I was quickly reminded about a conversation I had with my 6 year old niece, Lilli, the other night. Lilli's mom, my sister, is in Vietnam on a mission trip this week. So my other sister brought Lilli and her sister down to San Antonio for the week to be with Mimi and Papa and all of us.

While I won't share the entire conversation, I do want to share part of it. I asked Lilli what one thing was that she was thankful for from the day. She ended up listing several things and stated that she was trying to think of things besides God. When she was finished, I asked her if she is in fact thankful for God.

Lilli: "Yes....sometimes I wish I could love my Mommy more than I love God."
Me: "Really? Why?"
Lilli: "Because I can see my Mommy all the time and I've never seen God."

Wow. Ok, so I went straight into talking about faith. We talked about how we always have to put God first in our lives and how that's not always easy when we get into routines...and how we have to put God into our routines, etc. I let her know that I have the same struggles with remembering to put God first since I can't see Him...but when I am putting Him first I do see Him in everything and feel Him all around me.

So as I drove home tonight, in my rear view mirror I could see the sun setting. It reminded me of how I have always thought that I don't see how anyone can watch a sunset or sunrise and not believe in God. I mean, wow...they are each different - God's painting in the sky for the day, twice a day. I always feel the presence of God in a sunset or sunrise. So as I kept my eye on the rear view mirror at the big fire ball in the sky, I started to wish that I could always see God in the rear view mirror. When times are tough, I could see Him right there with me. When there are times of joy, I could see Him enjoying that with me. As I stared at the sun while pondering this, as well as what I stated earlier about Jesus' love for me, I realized I was staring at the Son. He is with me at all times. He does love me unconditionally. He did die for my sins. I am saved by grace. Whether I can see Him all the time or not. He is there. He is here. All the time.
I had David Crowder Band blaring and I wanted to close my eyes and throw my hands up in the air and worship Him right then and there. Safety first, so I didn't do that but I certainly was worshiping!!

I wanted to blog tonight about feeling inadequate. I wanted that to be the title - "Inadequate" and talk about how I feeling that way so much lately about God's calling for me to go to South Africa. I am feeling that way about everything - the fundraising, the packing, my relationship with Jesus, my attitude, my shortcomings, etc., etc., etc. I seriously could name about 20 things right now. But then I started thinking about that tonight too. And how 'innocent' they all must sound to God. Just like Lilli's conversation with me. Her innocence is just so precious and to hear her say the things she said the other night ("We should never love the devil, right?") - piecing things together with her childlike faith are so amazing.

So is that how God feels about my thoughts of inadequacy? Such innocent, childlike faith? I certainly hope so.